Safe PLAY Practices ("SPP") + BDSM FAQ

Common Terminology

Without consent, there will be no play.

We are presenting these Safe Play Practices (“SPP”) as a way to maintain safety, peace of mind and enhance the experience between you and your partner(s). Ultimately, it is up to you to implement your own SPP in a way that ensures you and your partners' safety. The SPPs found below are for information purposes only and MegaFinery assumes no liability for your activities. We hope your experience with BDSM is a positive one. Effective March 31, 2021.

A. Getting ready for play

B. When at play

1.  Pre-Play Communication
Honest and open communication is crucial between all players and for every role. Be prepared to discuss what activities will be done by each player including the use of tools and toys. Also discuss the risks involved with the activities if things do not play out as anticipated.

2.  Know Your Personal Limits
Take the time to explore your interests and desires, how you’d like to engage with them in play, and what you’re not comfortable with. Know your hard no’s. Make sure you communicate your interests, desires and limits with your play partner(s).

3.  Discuss with your partner(s). Be honest and open
Pain is experienced individually, and patience and sensitivity are crucial. Discuss physical, mental and emotional health and be aware of how these factors may inform play. Review the activities, toys and limits that each player has. 

Listen, contemplate and discuss. If you feel like you can’t do this with your partner(s), ask yourself if you feel safe to engage with them in play.

4.  Know Your Role
A Dom (the role that facilitates discipline and/or pain with consent) should engage with their partner before, during and after play to make sure there is no undesirable discomfort and to ensure pleasure on both sides. Limits and boundaries are crucial to the positive experience of a sub.

A sub is the recipient of discipline and/or pain, where pleasure is experienced through restraint or pain employed by the Dom. As a sub, share any injuries and communicate areas of the body that you would not like bound or restrained. 

A Dom must respect this communication. Strength can be experienced through the communication of desire and a respectful Dom will thrive on their partner’s enthusiasm for consensual submission.

5.  Understand Your Tools and Hardware
Research and familiarize yourself with new tools before use. Practicing before playing can help ensure the safety of all players. Knowledge and awareness lead to safer play.

6.  Be Prepared
Have the equipment and tools necessary to provide aid to your partner if something goes wrong. Plan for the worst, expect the best. It will lead to a much more comfortable experience for all players.

d. different types of play

C. after play

E. BDSM FAQ

1.  Dominance and submission are new terms to me. are these related to roles players/partners take on?

Yes. These are seen as opposite roles in the BDSM experience. One person is generally ‘Dominant,’ or identifies as a ‘Dom,’ and one is ‘submissive,’ or identifies as a ‘sub.’ These terms characterize the roles of play and are not defined by sex or gender. They can also extend beyond two players.

These roles are not necessarily reflective of real-life experience — BDSM play may often reflect inverse roles to those we identify with or are perceived to carry in society. A common example is gender — the inversion of women as submissive and men as Dominant.

2.  Why does BDSM often use the words ‘play’ and ‘players’?

The concept of play is cornerstone to BDSM, and is an extension of ‘role playing,’ which is more widely recognized. It plays with the concept of power and submission through the consensual world of sexual experience.

3.  I’m curious, but a bit timid. Where should I start?

Interest and curiosity are key to exploring BDSM. If you have the interest, ask yourself what appeals to you and what interests you. If you find a partner that shares these interests, you may determine that it is safe to explore play. Trust and consent is key to any healthy BDSM relationship.

4.  Some aspects of BDSM are exciting and appealing to me, but others don’t resonate. How do I find my way within the community?

People have different interests, values and limits. Any mindful BDSM relationship is respectful and acquainted with these. It’s important to know your hard and soft limits. They may be ideological, moral or physical, but are always personal and subjective. Hard limits are unwavering. Soft limits are points of discomfort or hesitance, but with some openness to exploration — with consent. They may also be dependent on comfort, trust, practice and communication.

5.  Is a healthy and valuable relationship with BDSM common?

Absolutely. While society presents some pushback to the deep exploration of our personal desires, exploring this world may ultimately make your relationship with yourself stronger, as well as between you and your partner, through trust and vulnerability. BDSM is not without intimacy.

Additional questions or comments?

1. BDSM: refers to Bondage and discipline, Domination and submission, Sadism & Masochism
2. SSC: refers to being Safe Sane & Consensual
3. RACK: refers to Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Specifically, if means that no activity is completely without risk and that the awareness of risk between participants facilitates safer practice.
4. Hurt Not Harm: refers to the concept that the exploration of pain within BDSM shouldn’t lead to harm beyond the boundaries of play.

1. General Safe Practices 

If you are binding a player, never leave them out of sight.

Keep a first aid kit on hand and have a phone nearby in case you need to dial emergency.

If using locks, always have two copies of the key. Put keys in a safe and easy-to-access area before play. 

Have scissors or bolt cutters on hand to quickly remove restraints if necessary.

Be mindful of a player’s physical condition — broken or inflamed skin should not be striked.

Take precaution with rope play: leave at least a finger’s width of room between the rope/leatherwear and body to prevent cutting off circulation. Before play, make sure scissors are stored safely nearby in case rope needs to be cut.

2. Safe Play + Communication

Consent is primary. Respect safe words without exception.

Safety extends beyond the physical. Emotional safety is also crucial to BDSM and kink. When we play in consensual environments, engage in respectful open communication, and explore only what is desired, players develop emotional security with each other and bolster trust.

Safe Word/Signal: Safe Words are used as a clear and direct way to communicate limits during play. Always discuss, communicate and confirm the safe word/signal before play begins. This is one of the most important elements of SSC and RACK. Tiered words, or ‘stop lights,’ may be used to learn about a partner’s comfort with play (‘red’: stop / ‘yellow’: caution-slow / ‘green’: ok). A ‘safe signal’ or body gesture can be used when verbal communication is limited, such as during gagging, where the sub may hold a small bell, keys or other noise maker. Triggering the noise maker is equivalent to a safe word and recognized by all players before play.

1. Post Play and Aftercare

Before play begins, discuss, communicate and define the specific requirements of aftercare. This varies person to person and is entirely subjective. Some aftercare is physical, i.e. tending to struck/restrained skin, other aftercare is emotional, but may be tied to physical action. Aftercare may change with time and experience and should be communicated outside play as new needs arise. 

Communication and discussion post-play is essential. Talk about all aspects of play — what worked, what didn’t — and reflect on experiences. 

 1. Suspension/Non-Suspension Rope Play

MegaFinery products are designed for non-suspension rope play.

While some BDSM play involves intricate rope tying that allows for sub(s) to be hoisted into the air, MegaFinery products are not engineered to hold the weight of a human body suspended above ground. For your safety and the safety of other players do not use MegaFinery products for suspension play. 

Rope may be used in combination with all MegaFinery products for non-suspension play. Rope can be threaded through O/D-rings with the intention of guiding sub(s); binding or tying body parts together; or to secure sub(s) to a table, bed frame or other object. 

2. Safe Impact Play

Impact play involves striking the body with a hand, toy, paddle, whip, flogger or other tool. Be mindful of the directions of your sub before, during and after play. The key to this activity is Hurt Not Harm.

3. Tools of impact play are capable of inflicting pain beyond their intended use. 

If you are using a tool with your partner, familiarize yourself with the instrument beforehand, and monitor contact points inside and outside of play regularly for impact. When exploring impact play, start cautiously to learn the comfort level of your partner (Refer to: Safe Play + Communication).

Beware of areas of vulnerability: avoid striking spine, joints, kidney region, the back of the knees and other areas that may be of personal sensitivity to your partner. Never strike the head. Face slapping can only be explored with consent — discuss outside of play first. The key to this activity is Hurt Not Harm.

6.  Are there any other resources you can suggest for me to learn more about BDSM?

We found that a strong community of safe, respectful BDSM players exists in forums that share similar values to MegaFinery. Talk to those in your community about platforms they value for the different aspects of BDSM they reflect.

7.  What should I do if I have a negative experience with BDSM?

Reflect on your experience. If the idea of BDSM still interests you in general, ask yourself why you felt that experience to be negative: was it that you didn't feel safe, that there wasn't sufficient communication about interests/desires/boundaries, or that those boundaries weren't respected? Healthy communication and trust with a partner is a cornerstone of healthy play. If the experience was with a current partner that you trust and with whom you'd like to continue to explore play, communicate how you felt and why the experience was negative. Work with your partner(s) on how to reconstruct the experience so that all players involved are able to engage positively. BDSM is about curiosity, experimentation and trust. Often one does not know what they like or dislike without exploration.

8.  I have a MegaFinery product and am interested in learning different ways to use it in play. Can you make any suggestions?

Reach out to us! We love talking with our clients about how to use our products.